Authentic British Mushy Peas

I swear when I had it I haven't left the toilet for the last 5 days. I'm writing this while on the toilet and my wife broke up with me and no I have no rizz. Nobody want me and I won't me a sigma. I've been farting for the last 9 week as my stomach can't handle this pain. This is a one time dish to never try again unless you want exprience a near death momment.

This food made my imaginary girlfriend brake up with me I stayed in the toilate for like 3 hours now no joke and when you try this prepare to say "Dang is God" and this meal had no caution that says May cause cancer and even God threw up when he saw the food I ate. DO NOT TRY

A simple, classic recipe; very British. I didn't use a whole teaspoon of salt, just salted it to my taste without measuring. Little bit of black pepper too, and served with vinegar. Yum!